Xaviera Hollander's Newsletter: featuring contributions from friends around the world.

Wishing you a happy and healthy 2024!

Here is the latest news from our dear friend and ex-Harley Street dentist from London, Michael Burke. He lived in Amsterdam for quite a few years before permanently moving to Thailand a few years ago. He is a few years younger than I am but still very young at heart, a talented artist, and a lover of women.

Sending you, Philip and Xaviera, my love. I hope you're both still as healthy as possible and not too busy with work. My life in Pai is as pleasant as can be, full of mostly fun tourists. My latest passion remains drumming. Nowadays, I'm a competent drummer and play with some young but great musicians. I've just completed a big update of my lower teeth: 4 implants and bridgework. It all has gone well, and I'm smiling and eating normally again after 3 months of treatment. Hopefully, it lasts as long as I do. It was cheaper than in the Netherlands, but still a significant investment at €10,000.

I even have a new girlfriend! A 65-year-old Swiss yoga teacher. I thought I'd never again have a woman in my life. Miracles do happen. It's sort of winter here, but not like in NL. It's 21 degrees Celsius. Love you both. In the meantime, I occasionally miss friends like you and Philip, and of course, I am also so sorry that some of our best mutual friends in Holland, like the wonderful Sheila Gogol, have passed away over the last few years. Apparently, they've already made a documentary about her most interesting and colorful life, shortly after her death! The temperature here is perfect, not too hot and never too cold, averaging 21 degrees C. The good news is that I fell in love again after quite some time being an old bachelor of 78!  Ursula, my new girlfriend, is Swiss and an independent spirit. She learned her English in India and is almost completely fluent, but understands almost everything. She has amazingly beautiful hair - that's what first attracted me. I'm very fortunate to live in a peaceful little town with lots of character and community. Russians are fine, everyone's fine, no anti-Semitism or Islamophobia, but it is on the rise worldwide!

Is Sheila Gogol's documentary on YouTube? I'd love to see it. I miss her, too. I loved to cuddle with her, and we were very fond of each other. You're always so busy leaving a legacy of all your many books as well as your computer life. It really is time for Phillip to get some rest. The B&B must be good financially, but it's quite a lot to manage.

Lots of love,  Michael.

Hi Michael,

we have personnel who have lived with us for the last 15 years and they are totally reliable and faithful, so don't worry about it. It's my own health, living with osteoporosis, that bothers me more and more as I get older, and it seems to become a real burden in my life. The mind still works overtime, lucky me.  Xaviera

And here is a text from one of our best and also creative Dutch writers,  Victor Laurentius, who is spending 3 months in Texas to do some serious research on a famous Second World War hero,  Peter Tazelaar.

Dear Xaviera,

During my three-months stay, I have noticed all kinds of surprising things. Of course, I was prepared for the large amount of food on my plate and Coca-Cola in my cup. That's indeed a lot! But in the meantime, I haven’t seen any pedestrians on the street shaking off their calories. When you see someone walking, it's most likely a hiker or a junkie. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise anyone to take a stroll, because you have a high chance of getting robbed by scum or arrested by the State Police, who find it suspicious when you take a simple walk, suspecting you’re on the run from something! The best reason to keep your feet still are those nasty snakes creeping around. My neighbor warned me about a big toxic copperhead in the bush behind the house. Well, I’m not very eager to get acquainted.

The news on TV is really depressing. When watching NBC and eating my cereals in the morning, the body count starts: shootings, lethal car crashes, and people attacked by wild dogs, infected with rabies, are as common as traffic jams. Those news reporters, by the way, are very good actors, transforming their empathic, frozen faces and funeral voices in the blink of an eye to a demented form of cheerfulness when the Sports Section begins. American football seems to open a compartment in the brain that doesn’t allow the banalities of everyday life into it. A touchdown is apparently regarded as the highest form of human achievement. It is pure escapism. Running has become a mental state of being, keeping in shape the privilege of the young and stupid.

Writing my book in a place called Conroe is an enriching experience. As an old-fashioned European, I need my daily walk. I know there is enough oil beneath the Texan soil to quench everyone's thirst for driving a car, but I prefer walking. That's how I made an important discovery: money is just lying around on the streets, waiting to be picked up. No kidding, quarters and dimes all over the place, in parking lots and shopping malls. It seems as if people throw away their coins for fun, knowing they will get rich anyway. Wandering around a bit, I've easily gathered a few bucks already, which I’ll invest in literature.

One of the nice things about Texas is the existence of old bookstores. There are several in the surroundings of Houston: Kaboom, Becker’s, Half Price Books, to name a few. As a bibliophile, I try to visit one or more once a week. Kaboom is my favorite, a place stuffed with books from the floor up to the attic. Like art, books give me a sense of connection with the rest of the world. It's all the more rewarding when you find a title you were looking for. In my case, it was quite a list. While staying in the United States, I wanted a copy of "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Salinger and some works by John Dos Passos. The nicest catches up till now are 'John Barleycorn: A Drinking Life' by Jack London, and 'A Personal Record' by Joseph Conrad, because these two books somehow connect with the book I am writing myself.

While searching among the piles of literature, I am also looking for copies of "The Happy Hooker" or any other of your books. Becker’s and Half Price Books have an erotic section, but I had no luck finding a copy. So, I started to look on the internet and found several highly priced original copies of "The Happy Hooker." Your all-time classic autobiography has become a collector's item, as it should be. On the other hand, new copies are available at Barnes & Noble. You are still famous here!

Many kisses and hugs from your friend in Texas, and a happy and healthy 2024! Victor Laurentius

And here is my man Philip with our sweet old Siamese cat Maxi and our new baby poodle girl LUNA in his arms.

Young - by my divine girlfriend AZMEH from Dubai, who lives around the corner in Amsterdam

Young girl, I was, unknowing, wide-eyed
Acquired The Happy Hooker and concealed it inside
My cupboard, hotly handled & read
Panting, precocious, under my bed
What an adventure, a whole vista new
Coming of age, getting sage, through Xie, it’s true
Darling your magic mojo
Made every penis I blow
The best intro to wicked, wild sex
Granting me liquid love and maxi flex
Thank you, darling Diva, celebrity, legend, author extraordinaire
For guiding, providing, exciting, inciting such flair
Such solid, artistic, bling-bling perfection
To happy encounters with every erection!
More than that, precious Xaviera, since we actually met,
You’ve made being neighbours, living in a film set
Daily they appear in variegated collections
To offer you, proffer you treats and affection
The media, B&B guests, writers, family far-flung
Porn stars, fancy cars, glittery bras and gents slick-tongued
You’re the draw, the prize, the hero, the centre pull
As much as we get of you, the cup’s never full!
You’re our Devi, sex shaman, guide to the well-hung
Xaviera Hollander, you will be ever, eternally young!

This is a poem sent to me by my Dutch girlfriend for years in Spain, HANNEKE.

In the darkness of the moon
In flying snow
In the dead of winter
War spreading
Families dying
The world in danger
I walk the rocky hillside
sowing clover

Unfortunately, this lovely, always helpful and healthy sporty horse lover and yearlong girlfriend HANNEKE, who lives in Marbella, Spain is suddenly also riddled with pains in her body, though she is a few years younger than I am. Xaviera

Here is Dia Huizinga's contribution. (translated from Dutch)

Nuit Calme

Oh, everything comes in so raw today,

the warmongering that still blows like a

November wind through the streets of countless

countries, the climate that is no longer

a pen pal but lives around the corner

on six-high, spawned by the promised,

green view. Suddenly we are drinking coffee every day

coffee, whereas before we didn't like coffee,

we know: everything that was bitter will one day become

sweet and vice versa. Or the newspaper article

stating that most hedgehogs don't make it

winter - I can hardly sleep through this

sleep and muse about how it is possible

that you can inhabit the entire atlas, but get

get home nowhere, or how danger has the

keys to all the houses.

Oh, everything is coming in so raw today,

the letter on the mat from a loved one, who

received my heart and was not sparing,

how it now feels as if my finest china

falling to pieces. Or a fallen horse in the

meadow, a chess piece in this harsh battle,

my favourite piece of music by Bosmans that like

a spider tickling my back, or the

refrigerator that I open, vegetables brown and wilted,

and suddenly I think: that's how it often is with

people in need, we see them as a product with

rot, we see their deficiencies as contagious

mould, so we close our eyes as if they are

are no more than some forgotten shallots.

Oh, everything comes in so raw today.

Lucas Rijneveld

These are notes from BB guests, who spent a long weekend in our happy house BB.

Dear Xaviera and Philip

Thank you for the most interesting breakfast ever!

This was better than Fellini

Anecdotes for life.

Thank you so much

WE WILL BE BACK FOR MORE!

Marcel

Here is an even more beautiful text from a wonderful pair of "lovers," pre-fifties, who were with us just this past weekend:

Unbelievable, what an unexpected turn our weekend suddenly took with you. Overflowing with beautiful energy, warmth, humour, storytelling, deep connection, and intense openness. Through your stories, experiences, and honesty/spontaneity, WOW... did you "open us up!" We already had an intense love relationship together. This one has been boosted in more ways than one, both erotically and in terms of intense connection with each other! See you soon, dear friends, NICKY.

Hello dear nice cheerful TINEKE DE NOOIJ - Xaviera Hollander here... How Philip and I enjoyed your wonderful program on the TV a few days ago. We even watched it twice, and what talented artists, who were going to make a portrait of you. All three have so lovingly depicted you in their paintings - especially that pointillist, who has made a wonderful masterpiece of it. I did notice that you seem to have some trouble walking. So do I, by the way!

"So getting old is not for sissies" is the suitable title of my third book, which I hope will come out early next year.

I am not on Facebook very often, but I always enjoy your nice comments to loads of fans. I will also forward this email to one of our best and also talented artist-friends, the singer/songwriter, and composer TOM DE JONG, who will soon be performing with his pianist at your ROSA SPIER HOUSE. It is up to him to introduce himself to you, because I will send him this same newsletter.

Keep up the good work, dear TINUS, your eyes seem to stay forever young, and your cheerful spirit as well!!! Kiss-kiss from Philip and Xaviera. We too would have chosen the exact same painting that was your own choice. In the meantime, I read your last email that all three paintings have been sold for quite a lot of money, and that amount will be donated to a special CAT CARE Goodwill organization. Bravo.

Love from Xaviera Hollander and Philip and... surprise surprise our new little feisty doggy poodle LUNA and our old Siamese cat MAXI we found in Spain 16 years ago. Still happy after all these years.